Thursday, October 4, 2007

Hallelujah Lyrics (Leonard Cohen)

Since my son's band, The Weathermaking Challenge, played this song for me by request last weekend, I seem to hear it everywhere (the Jeff Buckley version is in the movie "feast of love") and it rings in my head constantly.

I searched for the complete lyrics (there are 15 verses) and what I found, I felt needed to be anchored here...

Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah Lyrics

Now I've heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don't really care for music, do you?

It goes like this The fourth, the fifth
The minor fall, the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew her

She tied you To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne, and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?

There's a blaze of light In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you

And even though It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Well, baby, I've been here before.
I've seen this room, and I've walked this floor.
I used to live alone before I knew you.

But I've seen your flag on the marble arch,
And love is not a victory march,
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, Hallelujah

Well, there was a time when you'd let me know
What's really going on below,But now you never show that to me, do you?

But remember when I moved in you,
And the Holy Ghost was moving too,
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah

Hallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, Hallelujah

Well, maybe there is a God above,
But all that I've ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you.

It's not a cry that you hear at night,
And it is not somebody who has seen the light
It's a cold and it is a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, HallelujahHallelujah, Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Taking it to the next level...

Oh my goodness... What a universe!

I really should have been adding to this blog regularly because now the task of expressing all that has happened since my last entry seems daunting.

I began to write about my "cottage epiphany", which I had referred to in my Soul Spa newsletter, and somehow it never got finished..its an important piece to share, and still very relevant, but it happened in August! And boy, do I live in the MOMENT these days! So, I need to talk about TODAY, while its STILL today.

Today. The Full Moon. The Harvest Moon. I should have known it was creeping up on me. Every day over the past few weeks has been charged with emotion, movement, and a certainty that everything I was experiencing, no matter how difficult, was absolute perfection.

Since the Spring, and my series of health and personal issues, the main themes of my life have been as follows:
  • Re-connections: I have re-connected with old friends and with old parts of myself, which I had disowned out of shame and a deep belief that I had to "re-invent" myself, over and over again in order to belong.
  • Detachment: My recent experiences caused me to re-evaluate many of my "attachments" with people, things, ideas & behaviours. This evolved into me moving away from the things that did not serve me and which kept me from realizing my full potential.
  • Self Love/Acceptance: A MIND BLOWING epiphany that "I am WORTHY", "I am GOOD", "I am NORMAL" - precipitated by a casual conversation, the wisdom about a certain long-standing issue became clear and then everything was suddenly OK!
  • Truth/Honesty/Integrity: This one has been evolving over my entire lifetime but in one area, full disclosure seemed to be too great a risk..until I realized that I had been recently committed to taking risks all over the place, with astounding rewards and yet I had avoided the one area that could change my life more profoundly than I could even imagine. I knew then that in order to allow the Universe to show me what gifts it could bestow, I had to give it a chance and trust that would support and accept me. I was not disappointed.
  • Trust: I'm getting REALLY good at this and yet, the Universe has thrown me yet another exercise to further tone my "trust muscles". (This is where the blog entry "Adrift" comes from.) I realize that my only choice now is to surrender completely to the divine will and trust the process so unconditionally that I know I will be taken care of and that what is meant to be will be.... For me, this is another monumental challenge, as I have relied on my ability to control situations for as long as I can remember. I was born "in charge" of everything and everyone, or so it seemed. Everyone looked to me for guidance, direction, ideas, support...I have virtually built my life around this "truth" and yet, I know now with every fibre of my being that the bigger lesson now is - "Let Go and Let it Flow".

I'm ready - I really am. I feel as if I'm blindfolded, but I have other senses to rely on which will kick in when I need them - maybe its time to develop them further - like when I severed the tendon on my right hand and was in a post-surgical cast for a month. Part of the blessing in that was that I learned to do things with my left hand, which served to awaken the non-dominant side of my brain. I noticed profound differences during that time and I still try to use my left hand when I can remember to do so. So, even though I'm in the dark at the moment, maybe I shouldn't be trying to peek past the blindfold at all - maybe its...wait for it.... IN-sight ...that I really need. I know its corny, but its profound, isn't it?

I'll find a way to navigate through this and I'll keep the "Happy Plan" in play, making sure that whatever I do, I will do with the full expectation that I will be happy in the process (this is part of the "cottage epiphany", that I haven't finished writing about yet).

I will expect that miracles will happen moment by moment and day by day, because I have evidence that they have been all along and I no longer doubt it for a second.

And I will immerse myself in the depths of my inner self, and swim around, discovering more buried treasure, which I will bring to the surface and integrate into the structure of my already beautifully jewelled looking glass, so that when I gaze at my reflection, I will be reminded of my own beauty and magnificence.

And then one day, when I least expect it, there will be a sign, or a series of synchronicities, or an indisputable knowing, or what I call a "Tetris clunk" when you realize that something has finally fallen into place or MAYBE the answer will just "show up" in front of me...

...and THEN I'll know that the next phase is ready to begin...


Well, here I am.
Floating in the middle of the Sea.
I am alone
On a raft
No one here but me.
The anchor had been severed
Thank God
But now the Lifelines, too.
Even the Beacon's light is out
What am I to do?
The Moon is Full tonight
It Illuminates the air.
Still, no compass and alone
Edging toward despair.

Until the answer emerges
It has encircled me
Under the water
All this time
Like a shark
Waiting for me to
Relinquish all control

It rises up
Takes me down
To explore
Some more
So when it's time
I'll be ready

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

In Crisis

Journal entry for July 8th, 2007

If I don't write, I'll die.

This is one of those days. One of those wretched days that is so unbearable to live through. Once of those days where I wish I could sleep right through till the pain goes away and the comfort of knowing how the bigger picture is being served by my suffering finally becomes palpable.

This process is both a blessing and a curse and one where the understandings often come at such a high price that it is difficult to draw my next breath. It causes me to go into such deep despair, down to that old, old place that I had forgotten was so wounded and real and excruciating. No wonder I shut away so many memories from the past. My god, who would want to live with the daily reminders of abandonment, judgement, worthlessness, and shame? How could any person function in this place? How will I function?

In this churning mess of emotion, all my illusions, my hopes and promises of happiness are being digested, all the savoury and the sweet, the spicy and the bitter morsels from life's banquet having been chewed up together and swallowed mindlessly in an effort to sustain me. My appetite was so great and my need so strong and I feasted enthusiastically. And now, here I am, waiting for this latest, most delicious indulgence to be stripped down and processed, for my soul to begin to assimilate what I need and for time and wisdom to eliminate the rest. The soul knows what to do. It's an involuntary process, brilliantly designed to serve us so that we may thrive and grow. Unfortunately, it's the body's job to deal with all the discomfort and the pain that comes with it.

Well, that was a nice metaphor, and it served to distract me for a while. But really, what am I going to do with this? How am I going to go about my daily business with this relentless aching that a river of tears cannot alleviate? (Believe me, I've tried) I'm in limbo and feel that I have no power to control the direction of my fate. The decision is in someone else's hands and, even though I trust implicitly that those are good hands (great hands) to be in, I wish I could exert some kind of influence on the outcome.

Its funny, really, how the tables seemed to turn so suddenly. One day I was leading the way, holding the lantern to illuminate the path before us, and the next day the tables got turned in what seemed like an instant and I find myself being taken gently by the hand and led by a new and fragile light, but one that gains more brilliance with every step we take together. I know I can trust it to take me where we need to go. There is so much love in that light, so much peace, so much integrity and so much power. I feel blessed that I have been chosen to walk this path. I ask only for the strength to hold onto my faith that it will lead us to the ultimate experience of Joy. God help me transcend these moments of doubt and despair and move me closer to the greater understanding of what the truth is.

I believed it when I said that I now feel it is impossible to really envision what the ultimate possibilities are. I commented that, to make a list, or to visualize what we want is useful, yet limiting. I do believe that we cannot know the magnitude of our potential at any given moment, because it continues to expand. The more we wish for and the more we learn to expect, the more the possibilities will continue to multiply. Our only downfall is that we get caught up in the limited perspective of what we think is possible, limiting the limitless, rather than trusting the infinite nature of the universe. We must stop fixating on the rules that we have been conditioned to believe exist in our reality. They come from our human need to control our environment, to stay safe in the circumstances that we have become familiar with (even when they limit us), and therefore stay small and unfulfilled. We are so afraid to even think outside the box and break the rules that society has built for us that we forget the history of why they were constructed in the first place - as a means to control the semi-evolved human nature in all of us.

Human beings are so unique in that regard. Animals need no rules. Every other species on the planet lives by instinct, rather than a set of laws and no form of intervention is ever necessary for them to thrive (unless it to fix what humans have damaged). Why then, can't we apply this simple and abundant wisdom to our own existence? Why have we been so insistent for so many millennia that we need to re-condition ourselves from the intuitive, instinctual beings that we are? Why do we complicate things so much?

I believe the answer lies within our process of evolution. For whatever reason, our species was chosen to evolve beyond that of our planetary co-habitants. Our soul evolution depends on what we choose to learn from the experience of being human, and therefore we are destined to create progressive scenarios in which to experience the fullness of ourselves. Because we come from Light, it stands to reason that many of the experiences we choose, as humans, will be in contrast to that which we already know. Since the beginning of time, we have been given challenges, both great and small, individually and collectively that serve to assist us in our personal, social and spiritual development. If we look at the origin of our species, we have to marvel at how far we have come in such a short time, relative to the age of our planet. It is important to recognize that at this point in our evolution, (especially in the year 2007) we are preparing to take a quantum leap forward, advancing at a rate that is equivalent to all that we have accomplished over the last century, but in just a few years.

Given this perspective, I believe we have no other choice - no - we have an urgent responsibility - to examine all of our beliefs and judgements about what is expected of us as individuals and discard anything that will prevent us from realizing our fullest potential. The rules have got to be broken in order for us to move forward. We have to understand that those rules don't work for us anymore, just as many of the rules our ancestors lived by only centuries ago had to be abandoned in order for us to achieve a greater sense of freedom and empowerment. We understand, in most parts of the world, that any kind of slavery or segregation only serves to dis-empower us all and yet, we still draw imaginary lines all over the planet to separate us into groups, belief systems and families designed only to enslave us, control us and, in turn, keep us from remembering the only thing that our soul really needs - universal love. We create wars, laws and systems to protect those lines and then we wonder why there is still so much suffering in the world and why most of us are still so lost and unaware of who we really are and what we are capable of.

I no longer believe that we are meant to break off into small groups that separate us from one another. We are meant to live together, free from the restrictions imposed by our perceived need to protect our assets. After all, this is precisely where the concept of what we now know to be the family unit came from. Originally, human beings lived in tribal communities in which all members worked together to sustain the group. There was no need to define 'who belonged to whom". Later on, as people evolved and began to collect more 'stuff" the concept of "ownership" came into play. Things became unbalanced, as some individuals continued to collect more and more in an effort to become more powerful over the others. The more they had, the more they wanted to be sure that their biological heirs would inherit their fortunes, and eventually found a way for their women to be prevented from producing offspring from any other union, and thus the "family" was born. What originated as an enslavement has evolved into a global acceptance that I believe goes against our inherent nature to love and share freely.

Over the last century, we have had many insights as to what steps need to be taken in order to live peacefully and harmoniously on our planet. For many, the utopian ideal of communal living has always seemed to be the answer, and I tend to agree with that notion. And it makes me wonder why this style of living is rarely embraced in modern society. I think the answer may be that we are still looking outside ourselves for a place or scenario that would offer us everything that our hearts desire. Perhaps the missing link is that we should no longer need to feel that we have to rely on others for our ultimate survival. Perhaps we must learn to understand that we have all the power we need to create our own inner world of peace and harmony, and that living in the company of others who are harmonious with our ideals will only be possible once we have found it in ourselves.
I want to suggest that the evolution of our species does not depend on how we can come together, make peace and save the world. It depends on each of us looking into our own truth, our darkness and our light, embracing the lessons learned and yet loving ourselves enough to seek freedom from the bondage of our fears, which only serve to limit us from becoming the greatest possible version of ourselves. When we can finally accept that we deserve to have all our greatest dreams come true and then have the courage to take the steps to set the wheels in motion, all resistance falls away and the universe will conspire on our behalf to facilitate the manifestation of our desires - easily, effortlessly and full of grace. All the barriers will disappear, the conflicts will dissolve and we will realize that we are all alchemists, with the power to transmute energy and experience, like turning lead into gold.

I have been given many opportunities recently to examine my own life and how I fit into the larger picture of the world and to those around me. My sense of belonging has been something I have been acutely aware of for my entire life. I continually ask myself: Where do I fit in? What is my role? How do I impact others? Who will love and accept me for who I really am?

I have been searching for the place where I belong for so long, that I began struggling to belong to anything that felt safe and familiar. I became determined to convince myself that I would be happy as long as I stayed in one place, abiding by one, widely accepted and conventional set of rules.

But since I began my journey of self-discovery, I have come to understand that the greatest gift I can give to myself is to BE myself, ACCEPT myself and LOVE myself and that the only responsibility I have is to BELONG to MYSELF. The more I practice this, the more I experience it in return and the evidence that I am on the right path becomes overwhelming. I am delivered newer, better feeling and expansive opportunities for giving and receiving love and acceptance, and I have NEVER felt so LOVED as I do today.

And now, here is the important part: All this did not come without my willingness, my effort and my ultimate surrender to risk losing what I told myself was all I needed and what I believed was all I deserved. Had I continued to follow the rules that I had enslaved myself with, such as a need to be what others wanted me to be or to 'do the right thing", I never would have had the chance to experience some of the most fulfilling moments of my life. Moments that, were I to draw my last breath a moment from now, I could honestly say made my life more complete than I had ever thought possible. I will celebrate these moments for the rest of my life and I will hold them as a testament to what each of us can have if we only have the courage to dwell in the possibility.

I feel better now,

Thank You

Tuesday, June 26, 2007


It's after 2:00 am and, even though I am dead tired and really should get my rest these days, I am compelled to write tonight.

To begin to capture the feelings I have about this chapter in my life would be like trying to breathe in every molecule of oxygen surrounding our planet. I don't know who reads this exactly, but it really doesn't matter. I'm offering this to whoever and whatever is out there as a testament to this magical, excruciatingly blissful and monumental "thing" that I am smack in the middle of. I call it a "thing" because there are no words to describe it accurately. It has so many facets, all of them a brilliant reflection of the many parts of me. Who I was, who I might have been, who I am and who I can be, all mirrored back to me in layer upon layer of...ME! I can't escape the intensity of my true self anymore and the amazing thing is that I don't want to!

As all-consuming as it is to stay in this place day after day and week after week, watching myself evolve before my very eyes, I do it because I have never felt so alive and so ready to fulfill my destiny. I notice the pull of the people and things in my physical reality, but I know there is so much more out there for me now. The richness of this experience is astounding, because it is telling me to reach for all the things that have eluded me for so long. I now realize that it was me who placed them way up high, just close enough to give me hope, but far enough that it would take effort and innovation to finally hold them in my hands. And now, somehow it is like I have grown taller and the shelf is not so high anymore. Maybe that's why I'm wearing high heels lately! But seriously, that is a significant thing! I have always been surrounded by people shorter than myself or not much taller, and I felt that I had to fit in and avoid the feeling that I was towering over them. Now my height is being celebrated and I'm noticing new and exciting things up here! I can look into the eyes of all the things that I want, all the things I have longed for that I now realize I deserve, after all. is the name of a card I pulled at a Miracle Club Meeting a few months ago. There were pairs of different cards and each of us pulled one. We then showed our cards and were partnered with the other person who drew the same card. I drew the Deserving card and Terry was my partner.

I should say here that as soon as I entered the meeting, Terry was the fist person I saw and the only available seat was next to him. Although I had never met him before, I recognized him right away as an Angel. I knew that he represented someone who was very significant in my life who had passed away in 2003 whom I now undrstand was also an Angel. This man had chosen a very difficult path in this life, but as much pain and suffering as he put us through, I always understood that what he did was not who he was. His spirit was so gentle and loving - and the life he chose to live was meant to teach us all many great lessons of love, compassion, judgment, forgiveness, loyalty, trust and so much more. When I saw Terry, the same energy came through and it was as if I was looking into the other man's eyes.

When we drew the cards, we were told that our assignment was to call each other once a week and share with each other what we experienced about "deserving". Well, Terry didn't have a phone, so I suggested that every day at 11:11 am, we just send our thoughts to one another and connect that way. We were both very happy with that solution, and so it went... I did think of Terry often after that, although I have not attended another meeting since - not intentionally - I just have never been sent any information about subsequent meetings. As time wore on I began to think of him less and less and eventually forgot about the card entirely.

One day, a few months later, Terry called me out of the blue and I recognized him immediately. He reminded me about our agreement and the Deserving card. He asked me what I had experienced about being deserving and it was then that I realized how much had changed in those few months. I had changed. I had begun to accept that I am deserving of much more than I had ever thought before. It was quite a moment, connecting with Terry and what I did not realize then was that it was the beginning of a much greater understanding.

And so, the feeling that I am deserving has been a pivotal awareness for me. I realize how I have settled for so much less than what I really wanted and needed because I didn't feel I deserved it. When it comes to material things and people, I must feel deserving of those because I am very fortunate in that area and find it easy to allow nice things and wonderful people to be in my experience, but when it comes to things like being heard, understood, appreciated, valued and accepted just for being me, I have constructed a very elaborate set of circumstances that make it almost impossible for me to feel what thats like. It may be true that others feel they know me on that level, but its the expression of it that has never quite landed in the right place or in the right way for me to accept it. Its so hard to explain, because on the surface layers I DO get it, but deep down in that wounded place that I keep so well hidden, I have never really felt like anyone "gets" me. I know I have constructed a firewall to prevent it, but that only serves to convince me more because, deep down, I have always believed that if I was worth it, or if I met the right person, they would know how to find me. They would make the effort to come and get me.

I know now that I do deserve to find that somehow. And I deserve all the treasures of the Universe! And I plan to reach for the stars and become the greatest vision that I have for myself. I will not crouch down any longer and allow myself to believe that merely fitting in will make me belong to something. I belong to myself and that is enough. I belong to the Universe and that is everything.

Good Night and Thank You.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Things i want to do before i die (no particular order)

I feel that I would change/add to a few things on this list, as it was created very hastily as an assignment for a workshop I attended. I understand and encourage the philosophy behind this kind of exercise, but mostly, I find it really hard to come up with things that I'm absolutely sure of, because I find it limiting, as I am constantly evolving. How can I possibly know what is truly out there or possible? Our imaginations can only take us so far, and I have found that what is actually possible is far beyond anything I could have dreamed up for myself. If you asked me to do this 2 months ago, I would have never thought that certain things that I have found since then were waiting for me, and yet I have had some pretty mind-blowing awarenesses and I've been given gifts that I would not have asked for, but that I could not be happier about. Sometimes absolute perfection comes in strange packaging and in a form that we would never guess. And very often, true joy comes with a whole set of contrasting circumstances and emotions which force us to search for the treasure inside, so that we can really appreciate it when we see it.
I'm just grateful that I have an open mind, because I can allow all the limitless possibilities to come through and plop themselves right in front of me. I can dream the biggest dreams, and I yet know that what I have dreamed is only the tip of the iceberg. I expect the universe to deliver so much more than I have imagined, and it always does.

Having said that, here are some things that would seem nice now.

1. experience every corner of the planet, and I mean every corner
2. learn to play the guitar
3. sing in a rock band
4. hang out with the dalai lama
5. have an intimate party with jackson browne
6. realize and experience the ultimate vision of the flowerchild festival
7. live in a small town
8. live in hawaii, amsterdam
9. re-connect with old friends
10. find my mother's family
11. write many books - published would be nice
12. fly
13. study more about philosophy, religion, spirituality
14. experience a true "sangha"
15. start a discussion group with spiritually "open" people from all backgrounds and interests
!6. have a forum to interview famous personalities about their journey of self-discovery
17. forgive everyone and everything
18. go on a bike trip through europe
19. work at an overnight camp
20. yearly vacations with my sister
21. dance at my grandchildren's weddings (great-grandchildren, too)
22. develop a relationship with those who have a great influence on my life, but whom i have never met
23. make a difference in the world
24. speak, teach, write & mentor as many people as possible
25. love, love, love
26. build the home of my heart's desire
27. find a sport that i love
28. ride horses again (fly)
29. do a firewalk
30. find where I belong
31. facilitate and witness peace on the planet
32. watch a baby being born
33. love myself unconditionally
35. live the questions, love the answers
36. write a column
37. have a radio show
more to come...

Sunday, April 1, 2007

The Flowerchild Festival…. The Evolution of a Dream

The fact that I am now about to announce to you that the "second coming" of the Flowerchild Festival will take place this coming May 12th is very exciting for me. Many of you who are close to me, will remember that, in celebration of my 40th birthday, I invited you to share a day of "bohemian splendour" at King View Farm in late November of 2002. The day was created and offered as my gift to friends and family to express my gratitude for all the wonderful things that surround me every day.

Since I was very young, I had looked forward to my 40th birthday. Most people grow up dreading the day they turn the big 4-0, but for some reason - that I could not explain at the time - I knew in my heart that this day would mark one of the very best times in my life. When my father passed away in April of 1997, I began what I call my "conscious" journey and from then on, each year that passed convinced me even more that 40 would be fantastic! As I looked around me then, I was all too aware of my limitless blessings - a loving husband, 4 incredible boys, amazing friends & family and a deeper understanding of who I was! And so, as the actual day finally approached, I knew that I had to do something really special to celebrate - something meaningful that would express the true ME, and the deep appreciation I have for all the blessings in my life.

By the time I actually turned 40 on January 1, 2002, I still had not come up with an idea that felt right, and I refused to have any kind of party until I was inspired with the best way to celebrate. It wasn't until I was almost 41 that the idea finally came to me and when it did, I put the whole thing together - from the idea to the party - in 2 weeks time. It was so effortless, that I knew this was how I was meant to celebrate.

The idea for the Flowerchild Festival came in a flash and in that moment, I knew it was perfect! Even the title took no effort at all. I had been dubbed "the flowerchild" by friends long before and had even chosen that name for my license plate, so it seemed fitting that my celebration should be named for "me".

The plan was to give my friends and family a day of relaxation & rejuvenation and offer them a taste of the various healing and inspirational modalities that I had come to value over my lifetime. Thankfully, I am blessed with knowing some wonderful practitioners who volunteered to offer Yoga, Belly Dancing, Acupuncture, Massage, Numerology and Astrology readings and much more! I could not have been happier that day! The day was a big success and ever since then, I cannot count the times that I have been asked when the next Flowerchild Festival will be!

Well, folks, I'm happy to say that the day has finally arrived and, similar to the original Flowerchild Festival, which celebrated the evolution and empowerment of me as a person, the First Annual Flowerchild Festival on May 12, 2007 will vibrate with the energy and vision of the New & Improved Soul Spa Urban Retreat!

It is about time that Soul Spa should emerge out of our "best kept secret" category and into realizing the fullness of our potential as a Leading Edge Complementary Health Care Centre. As Soul Spa has evolved over the last four years, we have developed a valued reputation with our clientele. We have not always done things perfectly, but we have always maintained our integrity and our vision. We have been dedicated to our own personal and professional development all the while staying true to our philosophy. Just as I wanted to commemorate turning 40 by celebrating my own journey of self-discovery, I believe that it is equally fitting that Soul Spa should do the same.

The vision of the 1st Annual Flowerchild Festival is to unite the general public with merchants, organizations and health care professionals that value the importance of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Our society is hungry for opportunities to learn more about how to live happy, healthy and meaningful lives, and the Flowerchild Festival is one FUN way to make that happen!

From the launch of our new boutique, Aura, to the selection of our Corporate Sponsors, the Flowerchild Festival seeks to promote an Inspired Lifestyle that encourages Personal, Social & Environmental Awareness.

Because you are a person that cares about your quality of life and that of your planet, we know you will join us on May 12, 2007, 11:00 am to 5:00 pm @ 271 Centre Street, between Yonge and Bathurst across from Oakbank Pond in Thornhill to CELEBRATE the coming of age of Soul Spa visit

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Daily Prayer - a gift from Horatio & Seth

Daily Prayer For Tracy
From Horatio & Seth
February 26, 2007

I am one with the universe.

I am a ray of light that shines on all who enter my field.

I am creating my vision, moment by moment.

I am free and I am grateful!

Divine Guidance comes to me easily and with great inspiration. I lovingly open myself to receive the important messages that my guides have for me this day and I bless and cherish the wondrous place that I am at, moment by moment.

I am rejoicing in my connection to, and understanding of, the one-ness of all things.

I am a masterful visionary and I create all good things that bring me peace and joy.

I am monitoring my progress in such a way as to always take notice of how I feel and I am able to allow new and better feeling thoughts to come through easily and in good time.

I am happy and grateful that all that I have whished for is coming through now through an open passage that remains this way for all time.

I am harmonious to all things and all vibrations and I am able to access all levels of consciousness at once, for the good of all humanity.

I am capable, and trust that every decision I make is the right one as it resonates with my guidance system and feels good.

I create powerful miracles, as did the masters who went before me in human form.

I am a living, breathing example of all that is and all that is right with the world.

The universe conspires on my behalf on a daily basis, to deliver all that is good and joyful.

I am manifesting all good things now.

I am a powerful creator of miracles.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

The Secret , Law of Attraction and the origins of my Spiritual Beliefs

What's all this Buzz about The Secret?

Ok, friends, this is HUGE! Can you feel what's happening?

The last few weeks have literally been a dream come true for me. As I watched in amazement on February 16th when Oprah aired a SECOND show about The Secret, only a WEEK after the first one aired on February 8th, I understood that a miracle is truly manifesting.

I know that, like me, many of you have understood the principles of the Secret/Law of Attraction for decades or more and I am sure that you must feel the same way I do about what it means that the world is SO ready for this information. For those of you who are just now learning about the Law of Attraction, it is very likely that you will find something in it that resonates with your own ideas about how the universe works. The beauty of it is that Law of Attractions transcends all religions and offers an underlying truth that can be embraced by anyone who believes that there is a "higher power", regardless of what it is called.

Judging from the overwhelming reaction to Oprah's first show about The Secret, I believe that this is a really powerful indicator of how many people resonated with the information. Oprah described it as all these people having an "A-HA" moment when they saw the show, and when you have an "A-HA" moment, it means that, in that moment, you have recognized a TRUTH that you have ALWAYS known, but may have forgotten. WOW - that makes me tingle all over!

So now, here's what's true for ME in all of this:

Even before The Secret was turned into a book or a movie, and long before it became the most talked about phenomenon on Oprah, I have been blessed with the intimate understanding of Law of Attraction. I believe that I was born with this "knowing" because ever since I was a child, my beliefs have reflected it. I was never raised with any formal religious practices and, even though my religion of choice became Judaism when I was 11 years old, I was only exposed to the "traditional" elements of the religion through holidays and celebrations. What I know now of the religious teachings of Judaism, I later taught myself out of sheer curiosity and a need to prove to myself that I had chosen a religion that fit my inner belief system. When it came to Spirituality, I always knew I believed in a power greater than myself, and always described GOD as being the energy INSIDE of us. Interestingly, this is a discussion I remember having with my best friend at the time, Paula Sypnowich, who was an extremely intelligent person and was being raised as an Atheist. I remember that the subject came up quite often, as we often shared our deepest feelings with one another. I thank her very much for those discussions, as they allowed me to explore what I really felt inside, even though I had no congregation or spiritual leader to guide me. Amazingly, this inner knowing proved to be enough to get me through an extremely dysfunctional childhood.

My stepfather, Jules X Fine ("Julie") often commented on how amazed he was that I turned out so "normal" after all I had lived through. He credited my mother for this, and I have to agree with him - but possibly for some additional reasons that he might not have given. I'm sure what he meant is that my mother was such a genuine, compassionate and unconventional person, who always saw the good in everyone and everything. She was the type of person who always remembered what was important to you and made sure that she made continuous gestures to make you feel valued and loved. When asked what her religion was, she would reply "I am a Humanist - I embrace all religions, yet practice none" and today, I have to say that I absolutely share her belief system. I also thank my mother for being the flawed and vulnerable person that she was who, through her choices impacted my life and tested me in very profound ways. When I look back now, after all the emotional healing that I have done, I am grateful for those experiences. Had they not been a part of my life, I would not have known the ultimate forgiveness that I now feel and I would not be the very unique person that I am today. I know what it is like to not love myself, and I thank the Universe that I can easily recognize it in others today and because I have STILL gone on to become the best person I can be, I can show others, through my personal story, that it is possible for them, too.

Later on, in my early twenties, I discovered the book "On A Limb" by Shirley MacLean. I read this book back and forth on the bus to work and practiced the affirmations given in the book for everything that I wanted to manifest. I remember being very much in love with a co-worker at the time, and spent my 90 minute daily commute chanting inwardly 'I am God in Beauty", I am God in Humour" I am god in Integrity" and anything else that I could think of that would make my co-worker fall in love with me. Even though the situation at the time looked as if our getting together was an absolute impossibility - we began dating within a few months and we have been happily married now for almost 19 years. I had almost forgotten about that period and what I learned from reading "Out On A Limb", but I realize now but it was my first introduction to "Law of Attraction". I asked for what I wanted and acted as if I had already achieved my goal. Against all odds, my wish was granted!

Later on, when I was at the beginning of what I now call my "conscious journey" which began after my Step Father, Julie, died in April of 1997 I was referred to Dr. George Roth, a naturopathic doctor who helped me with a diagnosis of fibromyalgia. I had been going to him for a while and was actually being trained in his "Timeline Repatterning Therapy" technique, when one day, completely out of the blue, he asked me if I had heard of "Abraham". I told him no, other than the Abraham in Judaism. He then pulled out a collection of 11 tapes and explained that I "needed" to hear this information. I was intrigued, and even though the cost was over $200.00 at the time, I bought the tapes and began listening to them.

I have to say that, on first impression it all seemed very bizarre, mostly because this was channelled information, so it was coming from a group of "spirit entities" who called themselves Abraham. I had only recently been introduced to the art of channelling, so I really knew very little about how it worked or what kind of information could be gained from it. But even more strange was the way that the chaneller, Esther Hicks, spoke when she was interpreting the information that Abraham was giving her. I think she was still fairly new at the channelling game when she recorded the tapes, because I now listen to her CD's of the workshops she gives regularly, and she speaks quite like any "normal" person and with a great deal of humour. On the original tapes, the language style with which the information came through was quite "out there" and the delivery was much less engaging, therefore it wasn't that easy to grasp at first. I remember laughing about it with my best friend, Judy, as we would imitate Esther as Abraham. However, once I began to get used to it and was able to really hear the messages, I was truly excited to have some kind of "evidence" from the other side that what I had always believed and practiced was actually a Universal Law!!!

So, you see the principles of Law of Attraction have always come naturally to me, and once I realized what I had always been tapped into, I began to understand how much I could offer others to whom it had not come as easily. I realize now that everything I have been drawn in my life has led me towards a deeper insight and wisdom about how to apply what I know, be it books, workshops, experiences and higher education. As a psychotherapist, I have learned skills that help me to understand where people are at in their lives and how they got there. This knowledge and experience further enhances my abilities to serve others by teaching them what I know and how to apply these teachings.

Over the past year, I have felt the energy shifting, and in the latter part of 2006, it became so clear to me that all of the "junk" that was still left in my "closet" needed to be cast out (and FAST), because the coming year would need my FULL attention.

All at once, beginning in the fall of 2005, I became passionate about "purging" everything that I no longer needed and what was taking up valuable space in my closets and in my life. It started with my possessions at home, and over the course of the next 17 months, I had addressed every conscious, lingering issue that I had been challenged with for most of my life. My quest was for Harmony and Simplicity. I affirmed it regularly and, in true Tracy style, I made sure I followed up on every sign and synchronicity that I was given. Suffice it to say that this period was not an easy one, full of BIG ups and downs, and I am happy a grateful that I am a person who believes that everything happens for a reason. Because of this trust, I am always able to find learning in the "downs", feel deserving of the "ups" and offer gratitude for BOTH.

Finally, in November of 2006, I began to understand that all of the events of the past year or so were beginning to fit together like the pieces of a great puzzle and I realized that it was time to take a few steps back to admire the masterpiece.

Well, here we are in mid-February and I am cosmically blown away! Since the beginning of the year, I have been offered repeated evidence of what this year holds…EVERYONE is talking about it and MANY, if not MOST want to learn more. So, what are we doing about it?

If you are inspired by "Tracy Talks" in our monthly newsletter, you will also enjoy being a part of her monthly discussion groups at Soul Spa. "Wisdom Seekers" gatherings are held one Saturday per month from 2:00 pm-4:00 pm and are created to be an informal gathering place to share ideas about Spirituality,

Friday, February 2, 2007

It begins with TODAY!

I'd like to welcome everyone out there who is seeking what I have to share. I look forward to adding to this blog regularly, and I expect that there will be some valuable information which will be offered by my guides as well.
My intention is to relay what is true for me TODAY, so that we can all practice living in the only moment that has any power: the PRESENT!
Thank you for you ongoing support and encouragement. I feel your energy and I LOVE it!