Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Today's Miracle

Today’s Miracle
November 22, 2011
Today my client, after a session where she seemed quite distracted, told me, with tears in her eyes, that my mother had been in the session with us the entire time and she did not know whether she could/should tell me or not.  She said my mother’s energy was very strong and she was very loud, asking my client over and over to please tell me that she was here and that she is sorry. She also asked her to tell me that “they” are always with me.
It will be the 8th anniversary of my mom’s death this weekend.
I am sitting here in my office now, feeling sort of numb.  I know what I think this means and yet I’m not really sure what to think.  The message was so simple and so I feel there must be more.  But, even though “I am sorry” is a simple statement, it is also loaded with opportunities for interpretation.  Is she sorry for the part she played in the issues I have been facing these past weeks? Or is it something more complex than that? And, if there is more to this message, maybe the understanding of what it means is yet to come.  And maybe this is simply just another confirmation that I am in the right place, for now.  Things lining up.  Channels opening. Or maybe there is an urgency for this message to be heard now.  Certainly my mom could have come into any previous session with this client, as I have been seeing her for several years now. I don’t know for sure, but what I do know is that it happened for a reason.
After my client left, I stood in my office and tried to feel my mother’s energy, but I couldn’t.  I looked around to see if something caught my attention - a sign or a symbol or an intuitive sense about something I could do to connect, but nothing did. I spoke out loud to my mother asking for clarity about this message, but there was none.
It was just a gift in that moment, to be used as I see fit, I guess.
There have been so many remarkable occurrences since 11/11/11 that I am convinced that the gateway I passed through in my meditation at 11:11 on 11/11/11 really did lead me to a new vibration.  I’m not the same person I was 11 days ago. I’m not making the same choices or telling the same story. And yes, crazy as it sounds, it was precisely 11 days from the time of my meditation at 11:11 on 11/11/11 to the time my client shared this information with me, sometime after 11:00 on 11/22/11.
If the one thing I have been asking the universe to help me with is to let go of my resistance, perhaps these occurrences are the evidence that this process is underway.  If I am finally allowing myself to break through the barriers that have held me apart from my true “self”, then all of these things make sense. I am finding the courage to set limits and break old cycles. I have experienced the power and the ecstasy of opening my heart and releasing all that I have been holding on to. I am literally finding my voice and I’m able to listen and enjoy what I hear. I am able to recognize that the answers to the questions I seek are within me. I can accept that my “self” can remain present and need not disappear based on the feelings, the needs or the decisions of another. And I have been given a message from my mother that I never even imagined I needed to hear.  
And, just like that, gratitude and forgiveness have replaced fear and doubt.
If that isn’t a miracle, I’m not sure what is.

Monday, February 7, 2011

"Solo" doesn't have to mean "Alone"


I know what it's like to live through a very traumatic divorce.  During that time in my life, it became painfully clear to me that the support and resources available to women and their children are very hard to find and, even then, they lack the understanding and compassion that can only come from those who have gone through it themselves. I often felt alone, inadequate and, at times, unable to trust my own judgement. I desperately needed a support network that went beyond that of my well-meaning family and whatever friends I had that weren't too uncomfortable to talk to me. I knew very few people who could relate to what I was going through. I needed emotional, mental, physical, financial, legal and even spiritual support and yet I was too overwhelmed to find out how and where to get it.

Living through Separation and Divorce can feel as if you are on a runaway train that will take you to places you never imagined, nor ever intended to go. That is why I created Suddenly Solo, because I believe that women need a place where they can get the help they need, regain control of the process and, more importantly, their lives. Being newly independent can be a scary feeling, but Suddenly Solo offers women and their children a comforting and empowering alternative with unique social networking and events, emotional support from professionals and peers and practical support and guidance in the form of workshops, lectures,and resources.

Separation & Divorce Counselling

Navigating through the upheaval of a divorce is overwhelming at the best of times and, more often than not, we can find ourselves sucked into an emotional, mental, physical, financial and even spiritual abyss.
Without proper support or a framework of values to work within, before you know it, the process can take on a life of its own and you can find yourself feeling as if you are no longer in control of your life and its outcome. Regardless of the circumstances, this is one of the most painful and difficult experiences you and your family will ever endure and, no matter how strong you are, you will need a steady supply of ongoing support and encouragement.  Family and friends are well meaning, but they often lack the skills necessary to assist us effectively and, real or imagined, we can find ourselves feeling alienated from those we once relied on and for reasons that seem unfair or inexplicable.  That is why it is most important to seek help as soon as, and, if possible, even before you have made the decision to separate.  A compassionate therapist with experience in separation and divorce is an invaluable partner in helping you develop your vision for the future and stay true to your values and principles along the way.  In addition, if you are planning to or have already entered into the legal system, this can add even more complex issues and decisions into the mix. Even the most compassionate and experienced legal professional is not a skilled therapist and entering into the legal process too early or without adequate information or emotional support can be a painful, slow, expensive and often unnecessary way to learn how the system works and what your options are.

The service I offer to indivuals, couples and families is multi-faceted in its approach.  My greatest wish is that I meet you early enough in the process so that I can assist you in examining all of your options in a clear and honest way. Leaving a relationship or a marriage is a decision that is often influenced by hidden factors as well as obvious ones, and I feel it is crucial to have as much information as possible and to understand that this decision will effect the rest of your life in ways that you might not have considered.

In the event that a separation is unavoidable, I will then help you and, if possible, your spouse, get a very real picture of what to expect.  Together, we will identify your goals and create a vision based on your individual and collective needs, values and priorities. We will address the emotional and practical issues associated with your unique set of circumstances and design a framework that will address all relevant issues such as creating and adjusting to new relationship boundaries, expectations, financial concerns, living arrangements, how/when to tell the kids and others, co-parenting arrangements, property, friends and family, choosing a legal process and more.

It is my belief that, with ongoing emotional support and a rational, disciplined and value-oriented approach to separation and divorce, couples and families can dramatically reduce the duration and long term effects of this traumatic experience.